A Rebellious Penis, or a Disobedient Man?
Clinically, premature ejaculation is considered a situation where a man climaxes in the vagina or anus within 60 seconds after penetration, or when intercourse does not happen at all because ejaculation occurs too quickly. For comparison, sex lasting less than 3 minutes is considered short intercourse, while average endurance ranges between 3–6 minutes. Sexually inexperienced men often encounter this dysfunction first. However, the most widespread form of the disorder affects middle-aged men.
The Culprit Is…
Rapid climax can sometimes develop as a habit during childhood masturbation, because the boy fears being caught. Fear of parents may also arise from a religious upbringing that prevents adolescents from exploring their sexuality. This learned habit of quick masturbation can then lead to premature ejaculation. With regular sex, it often disappears.
An acquired inability to repeatedly delay ejaculation may come with age and often affects a person psychologically, unless the psyche itself is the cause. Stress, nervousness, and more serious mental health issues can easily manifest as physical illness or point to an ongoing condition (such as prostate disease, reduced or increased thyroid function, or urinary tract problems). A shortened frenulum and erectile dysfunction may also cause problems. Secondary effects include feelings of inferiority and lower self-confidence in satisfying a partner during intercourse, leading men to avoid sex altogether.
How to Deal with Premature Ejaculation?
Communication Above All
To find the possible cause of rapid climax, first spend time communicating with your regular partner and discuss the quality of your sexual activity and expectations. Clarify your ideas and needs so you can begin working on them immediately. If a woman feels unsatisfied over a long period, extending foreplay with intense kissing, oral sex, or erotic massages may help.
Can You Control Your Arousal?
During intimate experiences, allow yourself comfort and privacy, and explore how your body reacts to your partner’s touch. Do you notice increased sensitivity of the penis, for example around the glans? Does kissing on the neck excite you? Imagine a scale from 0 (no arousal) to 10 (orgasm), and mentally “record” each level of pleasure during stimulation. Gradually learn to recognize what state of arousal you are in.
Always stop stimulation at level 7 and let the arousal decrease for about half a minute. This technique is commonly called edging or the start-stop method, where you recognize the approaching orgasm and consciously stop it before the grand finale. Regular practice will help you train interrupted intercourse and switching positions.
What Exercises Can Help?
Exercises and Tricks
If both partners agree that better control of arousal and longer male sexual endurance are important for a satisfying relationship, strengthening the pelvic muscles is a useful method. Tightening the pelvic floor muscles at the right moment can be trained using Kegel exercises. Contraction allows a man to delay ejaculation, continue intercourse, and climax later.
Another proven trick for delaying orgasm is gently pulling the testicles downward with the hand. Before climax, they usually rise upward. A similar method is the so-called squeeze technique: squeezing the penis just behind the glans with the thumb and forefinger, or pressing the area between the anus and scrotum. This applies pressure to the nerves transmitting arousal to the brain and spinal cord, delaying orgasm.
It Works Better Together
A Well-Coordinated Couple
Masturbation an hour before planned intercourse and regular sexual activity itself are considered effective training — the more often you make love together, the sooner premature ejaculation may stop bothering you. Even simple thoughts can help. Try to get rid of erotic thoughts and instead think about something completely unexciting, dull, or boring. Horniness is not your friend right now — but above all, keep enjoying sex!
Changing Positions
Switching positions can significantly prolong intercourse. You already know you should stop “at the best moment,” when arousal rises close to the point of orgasm. A pause reduces the intensity of pleasure, after which you can start again in a different position, or interrupt intercourse completely and satisfy your partner in another way.
Some positions excite men more, others less. This is highly individual, so it is worth letting the man choose positions where he can better influence the level of stimulation and ejaculation. Open the Kama Sutra and find positions that suit both of you.
Condoms
Using condoms reduces sexual stimulation. Try condoms with a desensitizing substance inside and textured surfaces outside. The lubricant inside delays ejaculation, while the textured surface enhances stimulation for women. After putting it on, you can support the numbing effect with a gentle massage of the glans.
Desensitizing Lubricating Gels and Sprays
Even greater desensitization can be expected from combining condoms with gel. Desensitizing lubricants and oils provide excellent moisture, good slipperiness, and a pleasant cooling effect. If you use the gel alone, it may also affect your partner, so consider using it with a condom or sleeve.
The degree of reduced sensitivity is often easiest to estimate with a spray. Desensitizing sprays help delay climax, dry quickly, and usually do not affect female pleasure. You can try different options and find what works best for preventing premature ejaculation in your case.
Penis Sleeves
Penis extension sleeves, thicker than condoms, enlarge the penis and reduce male arousal. Gel sleeves are elastic, easy to put on, and work even better with a drop of lubricant, penis cream, or desensitizing spray. Delayed ejaculation and firm erection are often connected.
Thicker sleeves or artificial vaginas with stimulating textures can train endurance during sex and make masturbation more enjoyable. Practice improving your erection and become a better lover through self-exploration and masturbation.
Who Should You Turn To?
Where to Go Next?
What should you do when your own efforts and those of your partner are not enough? Conscious control and delaying ejaculation did not help, desensitizing products also failed, and you have given up alcohol, smoking, and drugs.
If you have experienced trauma or suffer from psychological or physical problems, do not hesitate to seek professional help. Specialists can identify the real cause of premature ejaculation. A psychosexual therapist can help with problems strongly affecting a relationship, while a sexologist deals with sexual dysfunction caused by medical complications. Your general practitioner can also recommend an appropriate specialist.